As the society changes, it tends to bring changes in all the aspects. Modernization makes it necessary to bring changes in our style and way of doing things. More families have two working parents today, so make it difficult for the family to spend time together.Nothing can replace that connection which parents need to build up with children, which comes out of the time spent with children where quantity of time along with quality is the most neglected aspect. Children do react negatively when they see both the parents being engrossed in their jobs and they enjoy the lesser priority sometimes due to job compulsions.
Associate Professor Mary Muscari in her two new books on parenting the adolescents and teens wrote that the old parenting philosophies and values still hold good, in spite of all the modernization and development, the basic principals of raising the children could not be changed, only the challenges and ways keep getting changed. According to her, “Old-fashioned values are still the best”.
Teens or the adolescents usually get lesser time to spend with their parents as they are taken to be small adults. Parents assume that their adolescent children longer need or want to spend time with them, so often give them too much of space. Muscari says “Kids are not just small adults”. Teenagers do limit their interaction with parents but they still don’t have ability and experience to think and act like adults.
Some opportunities and space lent by parents are good for the teenagers, however patens still need to spend time with them and engage in different activities. Modernizing the conventional ideas of parenting to an extent is positive and healthy for a relationship between the parents and the adolescents, however giving too much of space is also not advisable.
Best parent-child relationship is characterized by a connection being established with the children. This is made out of a regular communication between the parents and the children. One of the most important experiences adults can provide to their adolescents is by talking and listening to them. So building a positive connection through effective communication is the most rewarding ways to build a positive relationship with them and lend them a secured personality.
Listening and understanding the child’s problem from his prospective is important and safe for the children. Generally such children are less engaged in gang activities and other anti social behavior.
Engaging in family activities together also pays off in building a connection between the parents and the children like eating together and sitting down and talking. If due to unmatched schedule among the family members, it should be made mandatory at least to have one meal together. That could lend everyone time to sit down together, share each other’s experiences and eventually connect.
Adolescents do prefer spending time with their peers, however parents need to be parents, there are certain things which parents need to be concerned about. Helping children to tackle everyday threats like fears and insecurities lend them a more stable personality. Parents still need to play a role as a guide in spite of the modem trend which stresses upon their becoming friends with the children. The basic philosophy can not be altered and the conventional role of being a guide still holds good.